i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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