Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
