either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
