They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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