he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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