Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
