Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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