when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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