About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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