dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
jump out the window naked night went bad
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