I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Betty ford says i'm here all night
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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