Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize