I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize