martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
