Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
