YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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