Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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