I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
