You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize