He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
