There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
