It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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