She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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