I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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