my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
organizing the empties. That sober.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
