Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
