Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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