Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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