Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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