you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
