Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My orgasm happened in two different decades
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
