So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
its liver damage thursday
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
