you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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