You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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