I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
