Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
