it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
