I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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