oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
