I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
