This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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