Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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