so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I will pee on everything he values.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
