I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
