Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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