so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
