help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
