Walk of Shame. In a state park.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
