Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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