I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
