Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
