Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize