i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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