why didn't you poke me back
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
