just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
