her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
