Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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