I must be too annoying 4 u.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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